Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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