We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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