The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
