seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
