dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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