6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
