Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My first STD was from a foam party
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
