I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
