I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
