And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
