took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
