Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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