why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
