I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
