I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
