butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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