Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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