Everything about him screamed your future.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
