She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
