he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
