Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
