okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
