Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
