What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
