He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
