I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
