I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
