But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
