this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
