seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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