it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
