That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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