is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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