Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You left your phone here
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