That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
