Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
