Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
