What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
