she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
