just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
