Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
