They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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