the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
