five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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