i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
