If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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