No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
