Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
