Already got asked if we're dating
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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