In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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