i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
