i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
