i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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