HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Randomize
